Misbehaving at the Monastery

No one would ever guess where I am now. An ancient 400 year old monastery in Romania. It’s a 400 year old complex spiralling headfirst into the 18th century. You can’t tell them it’s the 21st in the face of cows grazing lazily and the nuns still holding to hard wooden bed traditions. Not to mention the thrashing you get when you misbehave.

     I’m not a nun and don’t intend to become one. I’m not even Orthodox. But I live here for now while my husband does some things for the sisters. I seem to make a scandal everyday and dance precariously close to one of those disciplinary encounters at each move I make. But since I’m immune, I might as well continue to exist in my own favourite American way.

      Today I finally found an internet signal for my laptop. Unfortunately it was located on the cement in the parking area right next to the back kitchen. So I sat there in the middle of plain sight- as around the corner came the main director/sister/ leader of the place with an even greater high religious church official and his entourage of bishops. Oops! In this country it’s believed that if a woman sits on the concrete she’ll get a bad disease so people freak out. Not to mention that I was there with some strange machine gathering foreign transmissions and repositioning it every minute like E.T. phoning home. In penance I may be inclined to kiss her ring in submission like the others the next time I see her.

     But this was really nothing compared to my morning adventure traipsing thru the village in a rickety gypsy wagon pulled by a skin- and-bones horse and a wild man with a whip. All this just for a measly phone recharge card. I can hear them now “What were you doing with that blonde woman in your wagon Mr. and Mrs. Gypsy?”

     I did get to telephone my husband for the first time in two weeks. He’s currently in Vienna and I am forced to plow through this terrain alone. I can see why Shakespeare said “Get thee to a nunnery.” If I can just steer clear of the workmen, avoid the snakes, keep my fingernails just a little cleaner, get rid of these moths that keep flying in the window, have something more than potatoes and cabbage to eat once and a while (like meat maybe???) and not get discovered smoking, then there’s a chance for survival.

     But this is naïve thinking. There are dangers, and manoeuvres, plots and subplots here that would make your hair curl. We have a spy, a crazy lady who says she smokes porn cigarettes but is really quite charming, tourist men walking about in skirts, hard working monks in long black dresses driving tractors, two distinctly separate kitchens depending on your status- which I visit often just to make a stir, really pink pigs who do nothing but eat all day, a girl who lets the cows take her for a walk and one crazy Cujo dog of my husbands who likes to kill whatever he can catch. I’m on his hit list..

     While I wait for this termination I continue to write my manuscripts about living in Romania and Austria, as well as a book about Eastern European mentality. The first two are pure fiction because people would accuse me of exaggeration if I tried to bill them as fact. The third one is everything you should know if you don’t want to be mugged, have your organs removed, be poisoned by food, kidnapped by the mafia, sold into prostitution by gypsies or left in a foreign country to die of the common cold.

      So my question is- since I can’t seem to find a Deep Throat in this forsaken land… Does anyone know a good agent? Drop me a line. E-mail,…… not cement shoes.

This is Home

Bittersweet happenings this week:::::::::::::

I made my first beans that didn’t taste like dirt. I also went to the Ukraine for a while and watched the border patrol posture around waiting for quick bribes. We also have a monumentous occasion. A visa appointment for Vincent on Tuesday. But this requires an American sponsor and invitations obtained in 4 days time. So we are scrambling about and I am contacting friends and family. This is a very dangerous task. I have been displaced in Europe too long and am searching for my spot in this world- my world- back home in America.

When given the opportunity to contribute anything in an urgent situation- time, money, resources, small things such as an e-mail or endorsement, who can you count on to rise to the occasion and come though for you?

Well my search ended with me not having parents any more. Not having sisters anymore, not having those I hoped were my friends- anymore. The one saving grace that I am sooooooooo immensely proud of is my son David. He has all my respect for sponsoring his mother and new step-father to obtain a visa and come to the states. Check out his page and his videos:

http://www.myspace.com/fearofthegreatmolerat

So I lost may people this week. But I learned much about the quality of my son’s character, and gained a sudden reconnection to an old friend I thought was lost. I wait for her response, not holding my breath, but inhaling slightly with a glimmer of hope.

Another gift was the new Switchfoot video for Chronicles of Narnia, Prince Caspian- This is Home. I have played it out. It details my heart and I can’t get enough. Watch it here, and try not to cry:

This is home

To all the immigrants who yearn for a better life, a place of rest, a chance to feel wanted and safe:

This is home
Now I’m finally
Where I belong
Where I belong
Yeah, this is home
I’ve been searching
For a place of my own
Now I’ve found it
Maybe this is home
Yeah, this is home

And now after all
My searching
After all my questions
I’m gonna call it home
I got a brand new mindset
I can finally see
The sunset
I’m gonna call it homeI

This is home

Life in Romania

For those of you who don’t know much about Romania, here is a primer of my perceptions in this country. If this is disagreeable to some-let me know. I desire to be politically correct, but I make no apologies as to the content of what I describe as my opinion.

The locals are basically simple hospitable people. Farmers, or those with no apparent means of financial sustainability. Driving though small villages you see heavily fortified neighborhoods with metal or rock fences. Houses are accesed by a courtyard of sorts with maybe a dog chickens or other livestock, and an outhouse in the back. There is an infrastructure of plumbing, running water, indoor toilets, only in big cities- though some still choose not to use it and rely on the system of bringing in buckets of water and using wood fuel for heat and cooking. The typical house consists of only 1 or 2 rooms. The main kitchen/sleeping room and as side room that is extra and unheated. Space is not an option and neither is privacy. If you are visiting- it is normal for people to change their clothes right in front of you. They have little concept of personal space and don’t understand if a foreigner needs it.

You must always refuse if you are offered food. You may accept after the third time (if there is a third time.) Everyone has a house wine. Everyone. Drinking seems to be the national pass time. (Maybe it’s this way in all of Eastern Europe?) You cannopt be boisterous, cause a scandal, talk too much, or express your personality in thoughts, clothing, hairstyle or even jewelry. I am seen as rich because I wear six rings, but really I consider myself to be poor because maybe I have something “good” to eat every three days or so. (By ‘good’ I imply something other than bread or potatoes or strange mixtures of food that I cannot identify and therefore decline) because food poisoning is my enemy.

There is a great hatred of the gypsies here. From television coverage and personal observations, it is somewhat justified. The romantic western image of a gypsy is pure fiction. Here, they play their role as poor beggars- when actually it is a big syndicate-children being bred for the lifestyle of stealing- and penalties for coming home empty. Many have large silver topped houses in which large numbers share  communally together with their animals. They have mass collections of weapons and often use distraction and numbers to catch a tourist off guard.

There are many hungry dogs roaming around the entire country and the other day a child of 6 was killed by a pack estimated to be from 40 -60. Single ones don’t seem to pose much danger.

As for mentality, the old are often humorous and rely on conserving all resources for survival. Living in semi-darkness, saving bottles, plastic sacks and often living without heat. The young move on to bigger cities for better opportunities, while the middle-aged often work in other countries, leaving husbands or wives here. Some, out of desperation, leave the country entirely and their children become wards of the state.

Orthodox religion is prevalent among the population, although it is hard to distinguish the righteous believers from the bandits because the system works in a symbiosis and there is much money in religion. The politicians and the priests are the richest people in this society.

So the point in describing all this is that an American living in this environment is similar to an African in Antarctica. Many members of the U.S. Peace Corps stationed here have had to be put on anti-depressants when they get home. There is no “what you see is what you get.” In fact, everything must be questioned. A smile is misinterpreted, eye contact is to be avoided if you are a woman, and you never know if you are going to be met with hostility, curiousity, or normal impartiality. There’s no such thing as acceptance. If you have this, then there’s a big chance it is merely a ruse.